Episode 310 | Unlocking the Quantum Woman with Shamina Taylor
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Intro:you could hang out with successful women lawyers, ask them about growing their firms, managing resources like time, team, and systems, mastering money issues, and more? Then take an insight or two to help you build a wealth generating law firm. Each week, your host, Devina Frederick, takes an in-depth look at how to think like a CEO, attract clients who you love to serve and will pay you on time, and create a profitable, sustainable firm you love. Devina is founder and CEO of Wealthy Woman Lawyer, and her goal is to give you the information you need to scale your law firm business from 6 to 7 figures in gross annual revenue so you can fully fund and still have time to enjoy the lifestyle of your dreams. Now here's Devina.
Davina:Hello, and welcome to the Wealthy Woman Lawyer podcast. I'm your host, attorney Devina Frederick, and my guest today is Shamina Taylor. Shamina is a renowned wealth expert, attorney, best selling author, mother of two, and host of a top rated podcast dedicated to normalizing big money for women. She's on a mission to lift income ceilings, break financial barriers, and make being wealthy the new standard for women everywhere. With a proven track record of helping over 51 women become millionaires and multimillionaires, Shamina is passionate about showing what's possible when women unapologetically claim their power and wealth.
Davina:So please join me in welcoming Shamina to the Wealthy Woman Lawyer podcast. Hi, Shamina. It's good to see you. I'm glad you could be here.
Shamina:Hi, Davina. Thank you for having me.
Davina:So tell us a little bit about your story and yourself. You have quite an interesting story. I've I've read your book, and, you share it on your website and in your book. But I'd love to hear in your own words sort of your journey to doing the work that you do. What happened in your life?
Shamina:Well, like many people, I who've had a shift in where they were at, there's this defining moment for me that had a before and after and was very life changing. And it happened back in January of twenty thirteen. I was on a Yakuta yoga mat, and I had this moment where I literally had my life flash before me. I was getting into this yoga pose. I've done yoga three times at Finnish bodybuilding competition, and my life was you know, everything seemed to to be okay.
Shamina:But in this moment, the yoga instructor had said, are you happy? And at the moment, I was not happy because I was trying to put one leg one way, another leg the other way. And I was trembling, but I was I was of the mindset, no pain, no gain. And as I was pushing through this physical pain, she was like, are you happy? You're living the life of your dreams.
Shamina:And, you know, at that moment, I said I forgot who Shamina was. And I just started crying and bawling. And it was like a wake up call for me because I realized in that moment, while I had checked off all the boxes that they said success would look like, in that moment, I realized that I was still very much unfulfilled and something else was going on below the surface. The accolades, the achievements, the material possessions, all the things that I had done to that point, it's still something was still missing. And after that up that moment on the mat where I bawled for the next forty five minutes, I had the ugliest cry of my life.
Shamina:I went home and spoke to my husband at the time, and, you know, we both realized that we were pretty unhappy in the state of our marriage. He was, like, my dream partner. Yet we come into a place where we were kind of just going through the motions through life. And anyway, a month later, he moved out. And then I went on to a very deep journey for three and a half years of figuring out who I was and why did I how did my perfect life get to this place?
Shamina:And how did this happen? And it went it went something like, okay, we have to figure out who Shamina is because I'd forgotten her. But then also, I had a lot of unresolved trauma that was beneath the surface, and I had to really re I had to really go and find myself again. And it was such a beautiful experience because I'm a hustler. Like, you know what then?
Shamina:I was. I was someone who could get anything done. And, you know, being an attorney and having my own law firm, I mean, there was nothing I I couldn't do. However, what I realized was I was not being who I needed to be, and that was the that was the precipice of where I am right now.
Davina:Right. Right. So I really wanna set the scene for this. So you were a lawyer. You had your own law firm.
Davina:You had two children?
Shamina:Yes.
Davina:Four were their ages at the time?
Shamina:Four and five.
Davina:Four and five and been married for how long?
Shamina:Fourteen years. Twelve years? Twelve years. Twelve years. Yeah.
Shamina:Twelve years.
Davina:Fourteen years. Twelve years. Okay. And you had you were a bodybuilder.
Shamina:Uh-huh. I was also competing in figure competitions. I did triathlons. I was very active and busy doing things because that's what I did. I did things.
Shamina:You know? I was a doer.
Davina:And you and you and this yoga, you talk about in the book how this was actually on TV. This wasn't some random yoga class. Tell us a little bit about what what that was what was happening in the yoga class.
Shamina:Well, my girlfriend had joined the bodybuilding competition with me, and then then local news in Chicago here wanted to do, a segment on how she had gotten so fit because she was overweight, and she'd lost a lot of weight. And I wanted to be on TV too. So I was like, this is my is my fifteenth seconds of fame. I get to be on her fifteen minutes. And when I went into the the yoga class, told told the camera guy, like, don't pan on me too much.
Shamina:But really what I was wanted to do was like, hey, look at me. So everything was filmed. It was filmed on this TV segment of me sitting in the same pose for the next forty five minutes. And I think people at first thought I was crying, but I was really, like, just releasing decades and decades of pent up trauma that I had had I mean, feeling my emotions wasn't one of the things that I was taught, nor was it a normal thing for me because I was so cerebral. I was very masculine in my head, and I wasn't an emotional person.
Shamina:I was very ice queen y, you know, at the time. And so for me, it was just such a release to finally let that go. And I I released decades of things that I had held on to, and it literally was the beginning of the massive transformation I've had in my life. And it's been, you know, thirteen years since that day, and so many things have transpired of who I've become today. And now I help thousands of women do the same thing, and it's just been amazing.
Davina:What do you think it was about that particular moment? Do you think it was the physical pain and then also you were in a place you couldn't get up and you couldn't get up and easily walk away from that at that moment?
Shamina:Absolutely. I think it was like I think I had many wake up calls along the way, but for that one, I was pinned. I was in the frog pose, if you wanna know what it is. I I I don't do yoga, and I've done a I done I did yoga after that a little bit, but I haven't done it for a long time. But I didn't know what it was at the time, and I it was a very advanced move, and we hold all of our emotions in our hips.
Shamina:And so it was like I was physically putting my psoas muscles and my hips in a state to release. But it was so when you are doing any type of healing work, you're not supposed to go to the you're not supposed to force it. But my personality and my mindset at the time was like, pain, no gain. So push, push, push. And so I push, push, push.
Shamina:And so it was like it was like tick, tick, tick, boom. And so it was like, alright. I I'm so grateful for that moment because it forever changed my life. It was like someone came down with a hammer on my head. I'm like, alright.
Shamina:Time to wake up. Now you've gotta get real. And I feel like that physical pain turned to emotional pain, and it just gave me permission to finally be like, okay. I don't have to hold the weight of the world or all of this unresolved trauma on my shoulders anymore. And it just gave me permission to be present for the first time in my life.
Shamina:And I I ended up becoming very masterful at my meditation after that. Have for eight years during that thirteen year period. I meditated for an hour every day. I've gone through every single healing, you know, modality you can possibly think of and, you know, really wanting to connect to myself again. And it was just really powerful because I would have kept doing.
Shamina:I would have kept myself in survival state and being a hustler. But, you know, you get to a point where you hit exhaustion and where you just can't take it anymore. And and I'm really grateful for that because I don't know if I would be here if I didn't have that moment.
Davina:Yeah. Yeah. Have lots of questions for you around the, around desire, which we'll talk to we'll talk about in a minute, because because on the surface, it it appears like you have everything that anybody would ever want. Right? You say that.
Davina:You say, I had everything. You know? I had the dream husband, the the kids, the body, the wealth, the business, all of that. And, but there was something more that you wanted or needed that you really weren't even aware of at that at that point. And I think a lot of women, high achieving women can really relate relate to that.
Davina:So tell me the title of your book is Unlock the Quantum Woman. So tell me what a quantum woman is.
Shamina:We have a definition of her, and I believe that the quantum woman lives in all of us. It's just that this woman who she is wealthy, she's successful, she's emotionally mastered, she has emotional intelligence. She is someone who gets to have whatever she wants. She is powerful. She's fully seen.
Shamina:She's you know, she's not working very hard for what she has. She knows how to be, do, and have. You know, there's this woman who can create wealth. She can collapse time. And I feel like it's just this version of me that had to come out.
Shamina:It was the balance of the feminine, the masculine energy. And the quantum field and quantum physics is like the ushering of fastness of time. You know? And there's still a part of me that wants things done yesterday, but forced nature and pushing through is not the way I do it anymore. I do it through my feminine energy.
Shamina:I do it through energetics. I do it through a peaceful, easy way of making millions of dollars as opposed to working nonstop, nine to five or sorry. Not nine to five. Gosh. I was working, like, 12:15.
Shamina:Yeah. So I had to really correct that. I was on another podcast earlier. I was talking about that. So forgive me.
Shamina:That needs to be edited. But I was working nonstop and then also running a family, going to the gym, doing challenge like, the the workouts, you know, competing, still having lots of friends. It was overload. And now I do everything with ease. I have easy mornings.
Shamina:I make millions with ease. It's just a different way of doing it. So the quantum woman, she knows there's another way. I just didn't know before that there was another way. And my brand and the whole trademarking and how it came about was that there's this there's this quantum woman in all of us.
Shamina:And how how about we wake her up and she doesn't have to live in suffering and make money from hustle anymore? She can make it from abundance.
Davina:Mhmm. Mhmm. And so the reason I, mentioned desire, you talk about four keys to, an evolution of sort of becoming this quantum woman, getting in touch with who you really are and what you truly want and making it, you know, and being able to manifest with ease, for lack of a better word. I think the word manifest probably gets overused a lot of times, but but that being able to, get what we desire with a lot of ease. But I wanna specifically dial in on the first key that you talked about, which is desire.
Davina:Because I think a lot of people would look at your life and go, she has everything I would desire. I want that. Right? Because you did get all of that through hustle. So what is it that you felt you desired on this on this metaphysical sort of level?
Davina:What is it that you felt that you desired that was missing from what you had?
Shamina:You mean before or after?
Davina:Well, as you went through this process, you said, you know, I had this. I had this career, this husband, this body, this life. And then there was something when you came to the point of key number one, which is desire. There's a desire there for something more. And the desire, I'm I'm guessing, is probably ease in getting that.
Shamina:Right? As opposed to my
Davina:What was was your what was different about your desire? Because I think a lot of people would look at your life from the external out and go, oh, she had everything.
Shamina:What what
Davina:else does she want? She's already making a good living. She's already got the good you know, like, all that.
Shamina:Yeah. So I'll explain to you, I think, that
Davina:for you that was missing, and what was that missing piece that you had a desire for?
Shamina:Well, I think there needs to be, like, a little bit of preface with this. So being there's a difference between desire and goal oriented. And so achievement, it was one of my biggest things that I went after. So I was a high achiever. I could get everything done.
Shamina:If you put put a challenge in front of me, it would get done. And most women who become lawyers are the same way. We're high performers. We're high achievers. However, there's the thing that shifted was the reasoning why I wanted these things.
Shamina:So I don't know if you've ever heard of the saying be, do, have. You need to be. You need that you do, and then you will have. But what I did with my life before I had my awakening and where I am now is that I would do so that I would have and then I would be. So I got it backwards.
Shamina:So I would do all the things, have all the accolades, and then maybe I would be happy. But on that yoga mat that day, it did not make me happy. Anytime we do something, it's for the feeling it would give us. But when you're disconnected from your emotions and you do not know how to feel your emotions, you actually can't connect to your desires truly. And so whenever you're hitting an achievement, it's always like, what's next?
Shamina:What's next? So for a lot of the women I work with and thousands of women, this is a pattern, is that what will happen is we hit that next level. Like, I have three degrees. Right? I've okay.
Shamina:Made a million. What's next? What's next? If we don't sit and enjoy the success that we have, it'll never you won't be able to feel it and and let it amplify. I couldn't do that before because I was so disconnected from my emotions because that whole feminine energy was locked off in me.
Shamina:And so when we talk about desires, I I didn't know what my desires was. I knew what my wants, my needs for success were, my goals were before. So on paper, they tell you, like, success is supposed to look a certain way. You know, you have a perfect body. Go to school.
Shamina:You get your degree. You go to grad school. You start your own law firm, you marry a great guy. He has his own business. You create businesses together.
Shamina:We go to Europe. We go to the Turks And Caicos. We have amazing life. But it's all because you're supposed to show here how successful I am. I have these things.
Shamina:But really what that is not is not actually a desired state. It's a goal state. So stay with me for a second. I wanna explain to you the whole process of it. Yeah.
Shamina:So instead of being in my heart and in my body to feel it, I was all in my head. And this is what where this is the deciphering between, do I really want something, or I'm just going after it because that's what society told me I'm supposed to do? So when I start out with most women, I'm like, well, what do you want? You know, what's your desires? Like, what is the thing that and a lot of them have a really hard time with actually going to that, like, big vision because the vision is the feminine.
Shamina:The masculine is like, okay. I'll do this. I'll do this. I'll do this, and then I'll be happy. But a but a vision, a a desire that comes from your soul, that comes from a place that you can't explain why you want what you want.
Shamina:It is it is not it it doesn't make sense to other people. And so now that I've done this work, I actually can tap into my desires. And if we're talking about creating money and wealth, money needs a place to go. It's not just a matter of making money. We want to be able to have our money go somewhere.
Shamina:So if we're really tapped into our desires, then the money will have a place to go. But goals, they fly they fall flat. They're like, I checked this off, and it's always every single high performer. What's next? Even before that goal's done, she wants to put a check beside it and go, what's next?
Shamina:What's next? That's all I did. I always lived for what's next because none of it fulfilled me. And the thing that I was looking for on that yoga mat was not the things, it was fulfillment. It was like, how is this gonna make me feel?
Shamina:How fulfilled am I? And you can't buy or achieve fulfillment. You have to become a woman who knows how to access fulfillment, to be fulfilled, to feel fulfilled, or otherwise, you spend your whole life going after this, this, this. This is like when people lose weight. They're like, well, I lost ten, fifteen pounds.
Shamina:I'm supposed to feel better. I'm supposed to this is supposed to feel better. Why don't I feel good enough? I need to lose five more. I need to do this.
Shamina:I need to have this. And so high achievers never hit a place where it's like, I feel good enough. And this stems into a whole another conversation which I experienced, which is like the unworthiness wound. And this is something that is so completely tied to someone's income in their business too. Like, I had a lot of childhood trauma that I didn't get to work through throughout my lifetime.
Shamina:I did now, and I'm healed from it. But that's what drove the masculine, the suffering, and the success. And a lot of women don't realize, like, when they're in hustle mode and when they're a high performer, underneath that is a very, very much unhealed trauma that's rooting that drive to show that, one, I can be I'm good enough. I'm validating myself. Look at all the success I have.
Shamina:They don't consciously necessarily do it. It's all in a subconscious level because our subconscious is run by our emotions. And if our emotions are, I don't feel good enough, you're gonna spend all day every day trying to prove to the world and yourself and whoever else, look at me, look what I can do. Right? Money never makes us feel a lasting feeling of success or of look what I've look what I've achieved.
Shamina:Like, you can buy the Mercedes. You can get the the diamonds, but they're all very temporary. You know? Because I always say money will never change who you're being. You have to get that from within, and that comes from removing the layers of the masculine and getting out of your head and into your heart.
Shamina:You know? And a lot of women can't do it because they can't be present. They can't meditate. When they're busy, their schedules are busy. That's a trauma response, and they have no idea that they're in it.
Davina:Right. Right.
Shamina:So that's that's that's how that works.
Davina:I wanna dig deeper. No. I'm glad you explained it because I think that that was very helpful. I wanna get into the, trauma part because I have questions about that. But before we go there, if you could clarify masculine and feminine because I think a lot of people, you're not talking about identity or sexuality or anything like that when you're talking about masculine, feminine energy.
Davina:Talk about what those what those are.
Shamina:Sure. So we all have masculine and feminine. No matter if you are heterosexual, same sex, it doesn't matter. We all have it. If you're a man, female, it doesn't matter.
Shamina:All of us have masculine and feminine. Now for I'm gonna take for all intents and purposes the gals who are listening to this call and us and high performers. So many of us, we have we are predominantly intermasculine. I mean, it's one of the things that I don't think we even realized. I didn't realize at the time when I was doing it.
Shamina:It was just a natural state. So it comes with you don't have to have massive abuse in your childhood to be a masculine. Your mother could have had unhealed trauma, which she passed down to you, which if your mother didn't heal her trauma, and it doesn't matter what it looks like, It could have been, like, being in an abusive relationship or not feeling good enough or she has an identity crisis. Whatever it is, if she didn't heal it, she could have gone into her protective state, which is masculine. And then that would force you to go
Davina:in, like, a hid. It's like a real intellectualizing of
Shamina:I'll explain to you. I wanna just that aggressive report it.
Davina:Right?
Shamina:You can understand how it is. So, like, when we are looking for masculine, we're looking for protection provider. It's analytical. It's overthinking. It's planning.
Shamina:It's I need to know all the details, how I'm gonna get it done. It's perfectionism. It's it's trying to control the narrative. It's it's it's the doer. It's doing energy.
Shamina:So feminine is this is where I would ask all the women, are you intuitive? And all of them would say yes. And I said, do you trust it all the time? And I would get probably a no because they go into the masculine. And feminine is knowing, trusting, allowing creativity.
Shamina:It's unforeseen things. It's chaos. It's not organized. It's very much the beauty of who we are. It's actually our superpower.
Shamina:It's receiving. You know, men give, we receive. It's a very different dynamics. And so when women have tapped into their feminine and then they go do masculine tasks in their business, that's when they make money in an abundance as opposed to in suffering or out of hustle. So when I look at a woman who is in her feminine, she's allowing, she's trusting, She's not micromanaging.
Shamina:She knows how to receive support in her business. She's got SOPs. She's got, you know, systems in her business as opposed to a woman who is, you know, all in her masculine. I can do everything by myself. She's still doing those nine to five tasks herself.
Shamina:She's answering the phones. She's doing all the hourly jobs as opposed to having a team. Right? Because when a woman can be supported, she knows how to receive and have a team. A woman who's doing everything herself, she's constantly like, I got this.
Shamina:I got this. I got this. And so she's got this hyperindependence. So she's she's she's overperforming, overdoing. It's just her, like, I'm gonna do it all.
Shamina:Like, and I don't need anybody to help me kind of thing. And asking for help is it feels like it's a weakness. It's like it's a level of intimacy that she can't handle because I how dare I would never ask anybody for help because I can do it all by myself. And so this is a fallacy that most of us were raised with. I mean, I was in the hospital delivering my second baby on a call with a lawyer, and he's like we were closing a deal.
Shamina:And he's I was like, I'm gonna have a baby soon. And he's like, so, like, next week? I'm like, actually, in an hour. I mean, like, at what why was I doing that? Why didn't I let Like,
Davina:the number of stories I've heard, like, I had a my first call with a client. She was in the hospital. She was in the hospital having her first VIP session with me, and I she called, and I'm like, what are you doing? You're in a hospital gown. You're in the hospital.
Shamina:Why are you why are you treating me now? She had been that patient.
Davina:She was having a heart attack at 30 years old because she was so driven with the driving energy. Yeah.
Shamina:Well, it's not just drive. I think it's act that's a fallacy, actually. I think it's not drive. It's like, I it's there's no off. And because it's like it's like if you if I stop you know, one of the things I help with women when they come with me, like, what am I supposed to do?
Shamina:Just watch watch Netflix? Like, just take some time off? I'm like, yeah. I'm like, it feels lazy. I said, that's actually a precondition of yours because you have a dysregulated nervous system.
Shamina:So you don't actually know how to be present. This is why meditation or being in the stillness or doing the be part of the be do have is hard for so many women because they have to be busy because they actually cannot be in their own body. So it's like, let me get out of my body. Let me do a bodybuilding competition. Let me exercise.
Shamina:Let me do, do, do, do, do, have a fully booked out schedule of things personal and, you know, business wise because then I never have to be present. And that's why they're in the next, next, next. And so for me, learning to regulate my nervous system was actually the biggest thing that ever happened for me because then it also helped my neural pathways get out of fight or flight. So I realized all the way that I had done things before was just out of a traumatic response as opposed to actually being cognitive of like, wait, this is this is actually safe for me to be here. And then I adopted it with money for women.
Shamina:And then that was a huge shift for why women like, we've had 51,000,000 sorry. We've had 51 women become millionaires or multimillionaires with me, and and 346 have their highest cash months because they're breaking self imposed ceilings that they've put on themselves because they're in this state. And so when you think about why we perform so much, where are you going? Like, women who have to wake up at 5AM, they just wanna do a million things in the day. And I wake up, and I have soft girl mill soft girl more soft girl millions mornings, you know, where I'm just like, I wake up.
Shamina:I don't need to rush off to things because I'm not trying to do a million things in a day. And I learn how to work less and make more money because of the structure of my business and my offers and everything that I've done, but also how I get up every morning. And this is what I want help more women do. Like, you don't have to hustle and grind yourself down. But when we come back to the masculine energy, we create a wounded version of this masculine energy.
Shamina:So I'll I'll break it down. So a lot of women I work with, they're they're not really open and free to say I love you, or they're not really like huggers, or they're like, they just like posts because loving them would be too emotional. They're they have this shield on their heart because it's unsafe for me to let my guard down and let anybody in because they haven't learned how to feel their emotions to process disappointment or to process when something has hurt them. So they stay on alert to be in a protective state. So they create a false sense of masculinity.
Shamina:And this is why so many women go into masculine. It's not their fault. Like, when I hear a woman when they I see memes and I see people talking about women being their masculine, it is not a choice that most women made. They made it because they had no other choice. They went into a survival state.
Shamina:It's like this is do or die right now. Like, they don't even realize it. I need to protect myself so that I can go function and be successful. But what happened is they turned off that whole feminine, everything about it, because this is was unsafe. Like, when we were growing up, did anybody say to you, like, how are you feeling?
Shamina:Like, what are your emotions? It was like, how fast can you run? You know? It's like, what can you do? Show me how smart you are.
Shamina:Like, are you a oh, you're a good girl. You did this.
Davina:You got gold stars. You're a straight a student. Whatever it was. Right? Yeah.
Davina:I I will I'm I wanna a couple things I wanna talk about. One is that, I don't I don't so the the masculine energy, I thought it was really interesting because there's nothing wrong with masculine and feminine. Feminine is what it is. Right? There's a time and place for everything.
Davina:But it's like a hyperdrive of masculine energy that we get into. And I I like when you talked about it's there to protect you. It's a protector. Because I think that's where it where mentally and emotionally we go when we get in that energy is I'm here to make sure my family has enough to eat, to make sure that the children are taken care of, to make sure that I'm doing all the things that everybody thinks that I should be doing or whatever. And what was interesting to me in your book is you I often think of trauma as childhood trauma, and I think most of us have some sort of childhood trauma.
Davina:I've yet to meet anybody who hasn't. But, you know, maybe there are those people out there. There are some people who will tell you, I had a perfect childhood. I had a beautiful childhood, and and there are those people. But the the interesting thing you said is it doesn't have to be childhood trauma.
Davina:It can also be some other trauma that's occurred in your life. And I think that's very interesting because a lot of people on here who are mothers are sitting here going, oh, yeah. It's always the mother. How am I traumatizing my kid? You know, like, they they take it and they go, you know, or do we all have trauma?
Davina:Am I traumatizing my kids? And and sometimes you can have what's a perfect childhood, and and maybe it wasn't as perfect as you thought. Maybe while we're talking about trauma there's little t and there's big t. I've heard it referred to, but still t. So big trauma is what we might associate with things like abuse and sexual molestation or parents divorcing or or whatever these sort of big traumas that have, some apparent dying.
Davina:But little t is this idea of there were a a thousand little incidents where somebody said something and you internalized it, and it traumatized you even though might not have been their intention to traumatize you. It traumatized you because it's how you received it, and then you haven't healed it as an adult.
Shamina:Yeah. Compound. So
Davina:when you're talking about the next key you talk about is healing. So talk to me about some of the well, kind of how you realized that you needed healing. And when you're talking with your clients, how you help them come to a pace place where they realize that there's something that needs to be healed? Because there's a
Shamina:lot of
Davina:denial, I think, that probably happens.
Shamina:Well, there's and I agree with what you're saying. There's there's so so many different stages and layers. Like, you know, when when I teach strategy in my with my business coaching, I'm like, well, first, we need to do the identity work because we need to get you that nervous system regulated, your neural pathways, you know, like, feeling like you're not in fight or flight. We don't have something that's combating because all of that creates resistance. It creates the ceilings like I talked about, and it creates the overdoing.
Shamina:And so you're not really actually running your law firm or wherever you're running your your your your, you know, your medical practice, whatever the way you want to because you're constantly holding on to the past with you as opposed to, like, getting a fresh start every day, opening up your eyes, and having no resistance out into the world. You know, when we're when we're in that masculine state, you'll you'll even go to, like, the nail tech. I was at the nail tech the other day, and she was so angry. She was, like, throwing everything. And it's like when you see people who are, like, every day carrying that baggage from the past, it has nothing to do with me, but that person is bringing their anger to every conversation that they're having.
Shamina:I always say that you're the blueprint for your life and business. So if you don't go and figure out what's inhibiting the success of your life and business, then it's gonna keep showing up. And it doesn't just show up in, like, the income. It shows up in the weight. It shows up in your face.
Shamina:Like, women can see from a year when they work with me, they're completely even physically transformed. You know, it it it locks in in different places where it's holding energy. Because if you don't transmute or move that energy out, it's gonna stay stuck in you. So it'll be like a little reminder. Hey.
Shamina:Don't forget. I'm actually afraid of the dark. Or, hey. Don't forget. Someone yelled at me one day, so I'm afraid to show up online.
Shamina:Hey, don't forget that someone told me I was fat, so you know what? I'm never going to dress this way. And so we carry all of these things with us through our life, and then they affect all of our decision making processes, like how we do everything. So when we go back to heal, I looked at it this way. Was there something that I wanted in my life right now that I didn't have?
Shamina:Okay. Well, whose whose fault was that? And then when I realized that it was my own, like, there's a difference between having a scarcity and a very victim mindset, and there's one that's of abundance and someone who is taking accountability and that that they're they're self accountable. Right? And I was not somebody who was self accountable my entire life.
Shamina:For decades, I was like a closet victim, you know, person. I was blaming other people's situations. You don't know what happened to me. I didn't tell people what happened to me, but I was like, you don't know what happened to me. You don't know the struggles I've been through.
Shamina:You don't know how hard it is. And I would I was really an angry woman for a very long time. I was ice queen. I was I was someone who was very judgmental, and I was not somebody who, you know, but I didn't know any better. I didn't know you're supposed to resolve these things.
Shamina:I was just a pusher through her in life. You know, I had lots of friends, but how close were those friendships? And what what were they really real? Right? Or were they just surface?
Shamina:And so part of the process I went through, I started seeing this. I'm like, you know what? When I healed something, all of a sudden, I made an opening with me and the universe for it to come in. And then I got addicted to it. I was like, wow.
Shamina:There's nothing that I can't have in this lifetime. As long as I can get myself open to receiving it, I can have it. Whatever it is, I could I could do it. Like, when I came into the online space and I left practicing law and I started my business here because I got this call and after the yoga mat said I was here for something big, I was like, I saw everybody making money online. I'm like, all right.
Shamina:I declared to the world a year from now I was gonna be a millionaire. Well, a year from then, I made a million dollars in my practice, and I worked literally a third of what I worked in my firm. So it was like, okay, I'm onto something right now. So maybe there's more
Davina:to from hustle.
Shamina:No. It wasn't from hustle. It was from such a different way. And so I started really working on, like, healing the thing that put me in the masculine state. So when you think about masculine, it is a very much like the wounded, the survival state masculine, not the healthy masculine.
Shamina:The survival state is masculine. It's usually coming from a place where and if we have underneath the next layer an unresolved big T or little t trauma, it's still gonna put you into a scarcity and lack state without you knowing about it because it's not coming from a place of abundance. There's something that's unresolved because maybe you have been victimized or something happened, but you have not dealt with it. So that's why you're protecting it with that masculine shield. So when I figured that out, I was like, alright.
Shamina:We're no longer doing that way because that way is so hard. My kid drew me in preschool. Like, I opened up this thing, and I there's a stick figure laying sideways. And I was like, who is that? He's like, mommy.
Shamina:I was like, oh, shit. That's mommy on the couch, I guess, when I was really tired at some point.
Davina:Your phone probably.
Shamina:Probably. It was like a wake up call to me. This is how my child is seeing me. Like, there's something going on where I am overexhausted that I'm spread so thin with I had no more capacity. It wasn't about time anymore.
Shamina:It was about capacity to hold things because you carry the world of the past and all those boulders with you, and then you're trying to move forward with all the past stuff from your life. You're you're gonna be in a really hard state. So I went on a healing journey to figure out, okay. What do I want, and why don't I have it? So I'm not telling everybody to go dig up your entire past.
Shamina:Okay? Because I do it on a, like, as need basis. You wanna have a better relationship with your significant other. I'm telling you, I was emasculating my very masculine ex husband at the time. This guy's a hunter, fisherman, engineer, ran his own business.
Shamina:But because I was so closed off and in my masculine, I didn't even give open myself up to receive his love in a way that I could. You know? I was so in a protective state. And when women are in this state, they're masculine, and their husbands are like, well, I don't have sex with anymore. I wanna be this with him anymore.
Shamina:He's too feminine. But when we're in this protective state, we're not even allowing our husbands and our significant others to come in. We're not even allowing support. And they're the ones that are supposed to be being the protector provider taking care of. We're not supposed to be paying all the bills.
Shamina:Like, yes, we make our own money, but the men that we desire in our lives, they're supposed to be the leaders with the high, powerful, masculine taking care of us. Like, every single woman I've ever talked to said, I want a man to come in and just say, hey, baby. Pack your bags, or we're going on a trip or we're going out for dinner here. This is what I want. She doesn't wanna be the decision maker.
Shamina:But when you're in that unhealed masculine state, you're gonna be controlling and micromanaging and trying to do everything because your nervous system needs that to feel safe. And so every woman wants a man to come and feel safe. So I said, okay. Well, if I wanna attract the guy of my dreams, I need to get out of this place and start attracting more healthier relationships. You know, my ex husband was a provider, and I still made money from my my firm money was fun money, buying all the fun things, and his was to take care of the mortgage and the other things.
Shamina:So we had a good setup there. However, you know, to call in other people, like support, friends, you know, not always be the one that picks up the bill, but be the one that, like, can be the give and taker in the in the relationship. It is so important that we heal that. So I started taking an inventory of my life and be like, what don't I like? What what what is off here?
Shamina:And then I'm like, alright. Let's go in and find out where this belief might be. And so when I say I talked about the first pillar of identity work, I'll sit there and I'll journal on it. I'm like, okay. You know, after I got divorced, I had a big belief that I couldn't support myself myself like, by myself.
Shamina:I was like, can I can I pay all the bills myself? Because my ex husband did it. So can I do that? I mean, I had my own firm, and I could, but but it was a belief because I just believed it. And so I had to work on it for a minute.
Shamina:I'm like, alright. Yeah. I can do this. But I don't want to. I wanna have someone come in that can't I wanna make my own money, my millions, and have someone come in.
Shamina:Like, you're allowed to have both, and I didn't know that. I thought I was supposed to take care of everything. And and when it comes to children, right, my I had to raise my son in such a way that he understood his masculine energy. Being a single mom and being a mom itself, you're already in your masculine because you're taking care of everybody. So you go from one job being a lawyer, being in your masculine.
Shamina:Coming home, you're wearing it. And then you're like, oh, yeah. By the way, and then I want someone to just come over here and, like, give me a foot rub and just take care of me. But there's no room for that. Right?
Shamina:So I had to you have to restructure how you show up. And, like, especially with my children, I've I've ended generational trauma with them and created generational wealth because of what I've taught them. And, you know, it's really specific things that how I raised my son is, like, three areas, and I can tell you later, and how I raised my daughter so that they were emotionally mastered so that they can understand, and they can be in their healthy, masculine, feminine, which, I mean, it changes everything.
Davina:Yeah. Yeah. When you when we're talking about healing, tell me some of the identifying those identifying what's unhealed is critical. But then what are some of the, modalities? You said you tried many modalities.
Davina:What ultimately sort of led you to healing, and how quickly do you heal something? Let's say you have trauma around, you know, your relationship and not feeling like you could be in the feminine because you're in the masculine or or whatever. You're protecting yourself. And whatever is at the root of that, Getting to the root of that and then healing it. I think there's a lot of, misunderstanding or lack of understanding around what healing means.
Davina:Some people say go to a therapist and I've been to therapists and some are good, some are not good. And and some of them, I've I've put their kids through college. So and didn't get and then I, then I recently started following somebody on social media who's a young woman, and she's a therapist and she's calling out all the things that I could never put a name on in therapy that was wrong with therapy and what's happening and she talks about how we're labeling things, but we're not actually healing through it. Right? Right.
Davina:So tell me Sure. Your thoughts on sort of the healing through it piece.
Shamina:So one of the things I talk about in my book, Unlocking the Quantum Woman, is your triggers. And this is, like, the first identifier because usually, the thing that needs healing, what's on top of it, is anger. So when we can find where we get triggered, where we have an emotional response to something, it's it it is like a clue box because it tells you, okay. There's something here I need to look into. So I'll give you an example.
Shamina:Like, when the triggers could come from anger, rage, or, like, oh my gosh. I feel so sad or I wanna shrink or why do I feel uncomfortable? Like, something's bothering me. You know? So I would tell my clients to go and I speak about it in the book, and I I have one of my courses that I teach.
Shamina:I say, I want you to just track your triggers for a week. I have a client now. She's been tracking her triggers for two years. And it's not to say that they they don't go away, that new ones pop up. And it's not to say that they can always be dissolved, but you have a way of responding them to them easier.
Shamina:So when you identify a trigger, then you're like, wait. You can see a pattern. I keep getting triggered over this same type of thing over and over again. What you're doing is you're taking yourself into the driver's seat and becoming self accountable instead of you going out and be like, do you know what that person did to me? Can you believe she did that?
Shamina:Because that's usually what people are are would say. And then they wanna
Davina:And do
Shamina:call up a friend. Yeah. Yeah. Come up with a friend, be like, can you believe it? And then they get that friend that's like, oh, that bitch.
Shamina:I can't believe she did that. But then there's actually no solution because all it's doing is just satiating the little child in you who needed to hear that you weren't wrong or you weren't bad, but it doesn't resolve it. But the way that you can resolve this is, like, to me, having a being reactory towards something is not you and your power, but being able to control your response and decide how you want to respond is a powerful move. When a woman can sit there and go, Yeah, that triggered me, I'm going to be upset and angry about it, but process it and then decide how to respond. That's the best way.
Shamina:Instead of getting defensive, you know, taking things personal, like so many women take things personal and they make it about them. And I'm telling you, 95% or maybe even 99% of what's going on with someone else has nothing to do with you at the time. I always say be grateful for a trigger because even though that person might have said something to upset you, I guarantee you it's never what they said. It's always something that's happened from a distant past, long time ago, and it's just coming up for you. And if you can have so much emotional intelligence and discernment to be like, you know what?
Shamina:Thank you. Yep. This is great. I'm gonna go work on it. And then this is the next process.
Shamina:So once you've identified a trigger now and you see a pattern, now you've gotta figure out where did it come from? Where where did this where did this originate from that I feel this way about myself? You know, I had a client once, and so one of her triggers were that every time she went to go eat food, she had a lot of guilt about it, let's say, for example. Well, when she was four years old, we found out that she took an extra cookie when her mom was baking cookies. And at this moment, this her mom was like, no.
Shamina:You're gonna get fat if you eat this. You know, the woman, she was in her fifties or something at the time. She's gonna get fat if you eat that. And so every time, she started eating food in secret. And so she would she would hide because she had shame over even wanting seconds or having a cookie or anything else.
Shamina:And she didn't even realize she had five children. She was a mom of five. She had her own business and practice. And when she realized the connection of this, she dropped, like, I don't what's it, twenty five pounds because she realized, you know what? I don't need to feel shame over.
Shamina:I'm a grown woman. And I think a lot of women forget that they've become grown women, and they still operate from this little girl syndrome. Is because it's un because whatever they're feeling is attached to that childhood. Yes. And then she's connected to it.
Shamina:And so now she doesn't realize that it's the little girl that's making decisions in her life, not the grown ass woman. And so when you can figure out where the trigger's coming from, you can start putting that inner child in the back seat and then start driving the car instead of the inner child making all the decisions. Because when you're reacting when you're reacting and you're not being, you know, cognitively responsive, your your your inner child, though, healed. Like, that's not fair. That you know, that's not nice.
Shamina:And why this is important is because you don't heal these things. They create income leaks in your business. Because when you start making a lot of money and you hit a point and the money is not compounding I've had many clients come to me that are making a $100,000 a month, and they're like, why am I why is this not sticking, Shamina? What the heck is going on? Well, one, they're not they don't have the capacity or regulated nervous system to feel heal to hold the money.
Shamina:And two, they have this abandonment or betrayal or one of those wounds come up, and they're like, it's not safe for me to hold this money. So you know what? Subconsciously, I'm gonna create all these expenses, these lawsuits, things coming up, so the money's gonna go right out the door. And they're like, okay. We got a pattern here.
Shamina:This is going on because the pattern's there. The pattern is like going and looking at your your books giving to your accountant. It is there. And what people don't realize is that they think, like, dating a guy. Oh, this guy's not right for me.
Shamina:You know what? The second guy was the same thing as the last guy. Oh, and the third guy and the fourth guy. I was like, oh, so who's the common denominator here? It's not the guys.
Shamina:It's the pattern. And I do this with clients too. I'm like, oh, you got another pain in the ass client coming in. Oh, another pain in the ass client. Oh, the same one.
Shamina:The same one. Misaligned clients. The who's the pattern? If you can be self accountable and have enough emotional intelligence to turn around and be like, hey. Maybe it's me, then you can break it and get to the root of it.
Shamina:But until you identify the power pattern, there's gotta be awareness, and then there's gotta be a methodology for you to break it because it's like a habit. Most of these things that we're doing is at a habitual state. It's because it's a known. And we like to repeat knowns because we know what to do. And this is what keeps most women below their income levels and not making more money because they're staying stuck reliving a pattern because it makes their nervous system feel safe.
Shamina:So once we can identify what you're doing, we break that pattern, it no longer has power over you. And then you're like, alright. I know I don't have to worry about this anymore, and I've been worrying about this because I just wanna feel safe. And when you create that false sense of safety, it actually creates what it does is it keeps you playing way below the bar of where you could be. It doesn't let you go out and do the bigger things in life.
Davina:I I think that's a real contradictory kind of thing, reality for us to hold to say, what do you mean it makes me feel safe? It doesn't make me feel safe every time I have a roster of clients that I never know if are gonna fire me or I never know if I'm gonna fire them or I'm gonna. And so it's the same thing with, being overweight or obese. You'll hear people say, well you're choosing that because it makes you feel safe and you're like, no I don't feel safe. I feel like I hate my body and I'm constantly upset about it or I'm constantly worried about food or whatever it is.
Davina:And so it's an interesting thing to say that it makes it that people hold on to patterns and behaviors because it makes them feel safe. That's really about, like, familiarity.
Shamina:Right? It's a known because because we we rather know
Davina:the devil you know.
Shamina:That's exactly I was just gonna say that. So that's better. And so this is why so many women play low below the bar because it's a known, and it's comfortable. And they get comfortable being in this very disempowered state as opposed to be and every single woman that come to you, they they they're like, I'm a powerful woman. I should be playing a bigger game, you know, making more money.
Shamina:I should be running my, you know, business this way. I should be doing this, and I'm not. And then why am I doing it? I'm like, well, because you're letting the pattern take over as opposed to you, you know, running the show. And so when we break the pattern, it's identity work.
Shamina:Right? You gotta break the pattern. It takes roughly about four to eight weeks to really, you know, break the pattern. Then I start seeing women quantum leap. Then I start seeing them have massive results.
Shamina:Because what you're doing right now, it's like insanity because you're doing the same thing over and over again thinking what things should be different. You know, this that's what they say. Right? Doing the same thing over and over again.
Davina:Can't really see it.
Shamina:Right. And they can't see it themselves because they're living in it. And so until you get a point to get it mirrored back to you, then you're like, oh, I am doing that. Like, I had no idea. Like, I I met a guy once, and he's like, I I for the life of me, I can't real I don't know why I'm not losing weight.
Shamina:There's gotta be something medical. I watched this dude over a two day period eat everything under the sun and drink everything. And he's like, you know, I go to the gym, and I don't lose weight. Well, I've gone to the gym. Like, are you consistent?
Shamina:Well, I went a couple of times. And, you know, but I gotta probably I've got probably got a medical issue. Like, why I can't I I can't meet girls. And I'm thinking, okay. You just showed me.
Shamina:Are you open to seeing what's going on right here or not? Because we live in our lives all day long. You know? I was at another mastermind event, and a gal goes, I had a perfect child. Every they both said it.
Shamina:Perfect childhood. Yep. I spent a couple minutes with her, and I was like, so tell me about that. You know? Like because I could see she was a perfect child.
Shamina:No. She was like, everything was amazing. But but as she was telling me the patterns of her life, she had a mother wound. And so it was coming up, and it was affecting her money. I'm like, here's the thing.
Shamina:If you've got if you aren't making payroll or you're having a a problem with income, there's something going on right now that you have to look at, and you can't just say there's no issues. So if you're allowed to be open to, like, thinking you are the blueprint for your life and business. So whatever your money mindset is, what your wealth consciousness is, what you believe is true, it is gonna show up in your business, like, on repeat and everywhere in your life. So if there's a result you want and you don't have it, you gotta go back to like, I always say this with the Taylor Swift thing. I know like, she says, I'm the problem, but you're also the solution, which is the most beautiful thing.
Shamina:So if you're the problem, you actually are the solution. And honest honestly, a lot of women, they don't realize that they're doing this thing because they do it at a habit. It's a habitual thing. It's the way they put on their shoe, the habits that they think every morning. And this is why self development and working on yourself every day is important.
Shamina:Like, I see clients all the time. I'm like, you know, why are you charging so little for your services? Don't you feel like you should be charging more for this or, you know, you should be attracting more premium clients? Yeah. But you know what?
Shamina:You know, I need to get the bills paid or I need to do this. I'm like, yeah. But every misaligned client
Davina:The market won't bear it.
Shamina:Yeah. Every misaligned client you bring in is costing you three high level clients, you know, where you could be working less with people who are premium coming to work with you as opposed to you, but they're conditioned and programmed through a patterning because unresolved stuff creates that masculine, but also does also has you in scarcity, which is like, I've gotta take everybody and anybody so I can get by. But what that does is you're working way harder for this client as opposed to working for a premium client at a higher level of service for less money. And so that's how that conditioning affects everything. Right?
Shamina:And to me, it was like, okay. You can keep doing it and suffering, or you can be like me where, you know, I make more money in one day than I did a whole year sometimes at my law firm. I'm going to the Amalfi Coast. I'm going to the French Riviera. I'm taking three and a half weeks off of my business, and I'm gonna go live my life.
Shamina:You know? I would rather live this way, and I and I have the body of my dreams now, you know, instead of and everything. Not just that, but all the way things that I thought I had before.
Davina:I wanna ask you this. What is the difference now between going to the Amalfi Coast and taking three weeks off versus what you were doing before? Because you said, you know, my husband and I, we went to Europe and all that. So what's the difference for you now? Where is the it's obviously you're more fulfilled now doing it than you were then.
Davina:But explain that a little bit.
Shamina:I'm present. I'm not anxious. Like, I'm not worried. Like, I was trying to do deals when I was in Madrid. You know when the time difference happens?
Shamina:It was like I felt like I had to work. I don't have to work when I'm away anymore. I can take the time off, and my business will still run. You know, we have funnels. We I have seven streams of income.
Shamina:There's ways of setting up your business so foundationally. It doesn't matter what you do. It doesn't matter if you're a lawyer, doctor, you know, a coach, a real estate agent. You can make money without having to be making money. Like, when we're still in that exchanging time for money mindset, that means you are not in a place of expensive wealth.
Shamina:But that also comes with identity work because I have to work. If I work hard, then I'll be successful. Where I'm like, no. If it's hard, then I don't wanna do it. If you once you're scaling your business and you're scaling, it should become easier, not harder to do it.
Shamina:Unless it becomes harder, it's you know, you're working too much. So that's the difference now. It's like I get to go over there, be present, fly my kids first class there, you know, back and forth.
Davina:That everything's gonna fall apart while you're gone.
Shamina:Exactly. But and be there and then shop and do what I want. And, you know, it's just like it's such a different way. And and, honestly, I was I was so restricted before in what we spent money on. Like, I didn't I had the money, but I didn't have the freedom to spend it the way I wanted to.
Shamina:I have way more money now than I did then. But, I mean, it was like, I I felt guilt about some of the things that I did. I didn't I I had to justify a purchase or I was if it was on sale, I bought it. Now if I want something, I just want it. It's full price.
Shamina:I all money's money. I just know that forever and always till the day I die, I will always be safe with money. And because I found that safety within myself and I regulated my nervous system around the masculine, masculine the masculine money and men and all that, they're the same energy. So I realized that once I could calm my nervous system and feel safe, I never had to worry. So going over on those trips, most people have this anxiousness.
Shamina:This is gonna cost me a lot. It's gonna be a 100 g's on this trip. I'm gonna do this, this, and this. Where's this money gonna come from? I go on these trips.
Shamina:I come back, and I have literally, I've I'll have the highest cash month the next month when I come back because of the way I've structured my business, the way that I show up in my business. That's the feminine. She just trusts. She's put things in place that things are gonna work. I don't have to sit there and be anxious while I'm gone.
Shamina:And what if, let's say, it dips in income a little bit that month? The world doesn't end. I'm not saying it will, but if it did if it did, the world doesn't end. Everything's gonna be okay. But when and when you have your own firm, you have a lot of responsibilities.
Shamina:There's a lot of things that come on your plate. And and a lot of women could not even take a week off because they worry things are gonna fall apart. I have an amazing team that's gonna run my business when I'm gone. It's not a big team. I run a very lean business.
Shamina:We have an 85, 15% split, you know, on my profit margin. The way you set up your business, I couldn't do that before. I would do everything. Like I told you, I was in the hospital. I was like, no.
Shamina:My cheap mindset was like, I'm not hiring all these people to do this. I could do this faster. And, I mean, like, what was I thinking doing that? You know? It was now I'm like, okay.
Shamina:I'm gonna go away. My team's gonna run it. They'll call me when things are needed. I'm gonna maybe do a live. I'll you know, here and there.
Shamina:And that's the difference. And also, presence. I'm so present that I'm not worried about what's next. I'm so present. I have this calmness and stillness inside of me that I soak up every single moment with my children.
Shamina:I realized very early on that there's this now that my kids are gone off to school and go off school, we only have them for eighteen years, you know, really, where they're with us. And I was rushing through my life before and trying to do so much that I was not a present mother. I was too busy doing everything else that I couldn't sit in that stillness to be be with my children. And and and those memories that I've made with my children now, they're they've forever changed my life and theirs. And and I've I've I've I can count on one hand how many things I've missed.
Shamina:My kids are athletes, super athletes. Like, we've got cheerleaders, you know, football player, rugby. And I can tell you on one hand how many things I've missed. And that's, I think, the difference. Before, my business would kind of trump some of the other stuff.
Shamina:Like, is it important? And now it's like everything with them is number one important, and everything else comes second. You know? So that's that's if that's the that's the big difference. And now I'm like I would I have a driver when I go over there.
Shamina:I'm like, I don't mess around. I'm like, let's do it all because it's just money. I'll make more.
Davina:Yeah. Yeah. I I have so many more questions for you, but we are coming to an end. I probably better wrap it up.
Shamina:Go ahead. Ask me the questions. I'll answer them fast.
Davina:Well, the other thing the other thing I was gonna ask was around because I I'm hearing all of my of my women lawyers, who have trust issues that they don't realize they have. So, you know, I'm hiring people, but they're not good. They don't want to work. They're not as good as me that they can't get it And there's this, I have this one client who has, no problem hiring people. And then I have other clients who are like, I can't hire anybody.
Davina:This, this, you know, it's just not working. Nobody's, I can't, there's nobody for me to hire. Nobody wants to work anymore. You know, that kind of thing. And then I've got this one who's just like, oh, yeah.
Davina:I hired three people in one day. And she wound up letting one go, but the others turned out to be great. You know? Like, it's so there's there's something there too in that, ability to trust other people to handle things. Like, if you don't have that I'll break it down for you.
Shamina:So this is how I look at this framework because I've had this is, a problem with all my clients. It's not like an it's not a it's it's not a an unusual thing. So don't make yourself feel wrong or bad for this. Okay? So one of the things is it's very intimate to have someone come in into your business and like a safety thing.
Shamina:Right? Will they leave me? And so letting my guard down to let somebody I I had to go through this too. Like, I'm speaking from experience. I've gone through a couple of team members before I found my dream team, but it's letting my guard down and letting that person in.
Shamina:My abandonment wound would get triggered. I'm like, okay. Why are you gonna leave? Are you gonna are gonna take all the things that I'm teaching you? Like, I only hire entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs in my business.
Shamina:So people who wanna work for me as opposed to having their own business, number one. Number two, are they gonna leave, and can I let my guard down? And and so a lot of the times what happens is we are so programmed for toxic relationships. I know that sounds crazy to say that, but it's like confrontation with a powerful woman is not something that we easily embrace. We're like, we'll sit there and go bitch to somebody else about, look at this person's and then then finally, the it's like the breaking point, then we get rid of them as opposed to, you know, what they say, you know, hire slow, fire fast.
Shamina:And a lot of the times, we are we have we don't have the capacity to get rid of people. So we keep them on longer, and then we start doing I had a client. She was started doing her receptionist or whoever or that person's job, she she was an anesthesiologist, and she also had a practice where she had plastic surgery and stuff like that. So she kept hiring people. She's like, I can't get the right person.
Shamina:I'm like, okay. Let me ask you this. Do you feel like you can be supported? She's like, yes. But we went we got in deeper.
Shamina:Her mother she's from South Africa, and she lives in Canada. Her mother and her father were always the ones that she supported financially, but also she she took their praise really high. She also felt like in her marriage, which was failed, she was not supported. She was taking care of the man. And then she also felt there's this competition with her and her sister that she never felt good enough.
Shamina:She took all of that and brought it into her practice. So nobody could ever do what she could do because she had to be the best at what she did. So every single person that came in was never gonna be good enough, even from the jump. And so I said to her, go, do you really want support? Yes.
Shamina:I do. I'm like, are you sure? Or do you wanna just have a story that you can tell people that you did it all by yourself? When she had that moment, she started crying. She went through we did some more things to go get get the patterning and break it.
Shamina:And then she realized, you know what? Every single person, I was, like, setting them up to fail to come in because I'd never believed that I could be supported because I've had to do everything on my own. She She took care of her ex husbands. She took care of everybody. She was I didn't have the belief that I could be supported.
Shamina:And now that she does, she was able to find her dream person, which changed the whole trajectory of her business because you can't scale not having a team. Right? You can't you can't do anything like that. So most of the time for women, they don't believe they can be supported. They have a really hard time with allowing people into their space to trust them because they're worried that someone's gonna there's the next, you know, wound, betrayal.
Shamina:They're going to betray me. So if you have any sort of betrayal that has been resolved, guess what? It's gonna show up everywhere, but that also gonna show up in your money. So going through this process is is like it's like jumping out of a plane. And the one client that you said she hired three, she's learned.
Shamina:Okay. I'm gonna test it out. I'm driving a couple different of them. See which ones I feel the most comfortable. And you know what?
Shamina:You might need someone who's gonna keep reconfirming they're not leaving, that they're safe because you need that. You need someone that say, yeah. I'm here for the long haul. I'm I'm I'm coachable. I'm willing to do whatever.
Shamina:And you as a leader, this is where a lot of women have a problem, is they're not delegating correctly, where they're not actually asking people to do things because they're doing it themselves instead of, you know, they're cleaning up before the cleaning lady comes kind of thing. Right? They're not sitting there, allowing people to do their job because they're like they feel like if I ask them too much, they might leave. Or if I give them too much, they might get angry with me if I do this. And so they're they're they're they're creating a situation that doesn't need to be there, and that's why they haven't found their dream team yet.
Shamina:We have a whole hiring, like, little thing that we teach people. It's like, I'll I'll I'll this is what I'll give you a little tip. Write down all the things that you do not love doing in your business. Right? But then next, write down all the things that other people can't do, where you're supposed to do.
Shamina:But and then start doing them, and then hire people out for these specific jobs. The fastest way to grow your business and start feeling safe with growing a team is to bring people in. Now create SOPs so that when you know, standard operating procedures where people come in and you can have, like, a a VA online. You can have one in person. Doesn't matter how you run your firm, but you should not be answering the phones.
Shamina:You should not be doing all those things, And you should be doing things that are money making moves. But if you're not making a money doing a money making move, you're doing an hourly move. And that's how I I would start thinking about it. Like, is doing the laundry a money making move? Is even going inside a grocery store?
Shamina:Like, if any of my clients are even going grocery stores, I'm like, we need to talk. Because that is not a money making move for you to spend three hours to go grocery shopping. You could be doing other things that even if it's just sitting and chilling and watching Netflix, gets what? That's a money making move because you're in the beingness as opposed to going to do everything. Right?
Shamina:So that's that that's the shift that I think that women don't understand. And it's intimate. It's like, can I can I let my guard down and ask for help? Because you know what? Will somebody help me?
Shamina:And that's really hard for women to do when they're in this state is to ask for help because it looks like it's a weakness. Start asking. Start delegating. You're gonna get addicted to it. It's gonna change the whole it's gonna change your entire leadership of how you show up in your business.
Shamina:It's gonna change the type of business that you run by able to delegate and ask for help. And, it's a slow process, but once you start doing it, are magical. It's a major shift.
Davina:Right. I often tell people it's also the security of knowing that you will be okay and your business will be okay if people come and go. Because I I tell people, I said, well, you know, like, imagine you have this business for ten, twenty, thirty years, however long you have it. Do you expect every person you hire to stay with you for thirty years? If you do, that's an unrealistic expectation.
Davina:Mean, like, people don't people don't stake for the gold watch anymore. And you'll be okay. You'll be okay because Don't know that. You're evolving and growing, and maybe the next person that comes along, no matter how painful it is when this person leaves, will be part of the evolution of the business. So there's a lot of there's a lot of stuff around that.
Davina:So and like I said, you and I can probably talk for another hour, but we'll wrap it up with you telling me how people can get in touch with you Yeah. More value.
Shamina:No problem. One thing I wanna say, though, is it's like people look at their work relationships like their their their personal relationships, and that's where that lens that you see the world needs to change. Because when you can you can look at the difference, like your performance at work and how you are at home, they have to be two different lens that you look through. Right? Because you're expecting your employee or your support team or your team member to be a certain way with you, and you're you're putting a lot of your old stuff on them to do things.
Shamina:They're not your emotional support. They're not all these things. They're here to perform
Davina:a job. Yeah. And our family.
Shamina:And I and I this is a this is a really big thing when people are like, my my my work people or my family. That that has to change because they're not. They're your team members. Team members get us to the top. They're, you know, you're the Sherpa leading the way.
Shamina:But if you look at people as being family, then family's gonna disappoint you. Family's gonna let you down. But team members, they're there to perform for you to get you to be the best. So shift into not looking at them as family and how you look at them, and you're gonna have a massive shift on how you're running your business. You know?
Shamina:Alright. We could talk for an hour and everything, but here's one thing. Thank you so much for having me on, Devine. I really appreciate it. Now we talked about this book, Unlocking the Quantum Woman.
Shamina:I would go grab it, run, get it, read it. Do the workbook inside. I know all of you like listening to audio and multitasking because that's how you're that's how you're wired. But if you can sit down and actually do the the the questions in this workbook, it'll be transformative for you. Doesn't matter how much, Mikey, if you're making multiple millions, doesn't matter where you are in your business, it's gonna show you how to add more capacity in, but also bring up that identity work that I teach about.
Shamina:And, you know, you're gonna start seeing, like, maybe I am undercharging for my my services. Also, I have this podcast. It's called Unapologetically Rich. The reason why I created it is because I believe that we, as women, we can be unapologetically rich, meaning you don't have to justify a purchase or you don't have to you don't have to donate just to have. You don't have to explain to anybody why you wanna be wealthy.
Shamina:And it's not just money. It's about wealth in your life, your success all over. It's like, what does your life look like and what it's rich? And we have a great series going on right now with with billionaires and multimillionaires who've started from scratch. You would absolutely love it.
Shamina:Also, people call me the millionaire mentor because I'm, like, in your ear. They feel like it's they're getting therapy. I've had, like, literally, I've had probably, like, 50 therapists come and work with me in my paid programs. And they're like, you are better than any schooling or therapist that we did because it it really helps me feel see, I know you. I was you, so it'll help.
Shamina:One last thing is that since Devina has given you guys so much value and I've on her show, I wanna give you guys one thing free. And, you know, I wanna make sure that it's something that you're aligned with so, know, when you send me a message. So it's like for everybody listening, this is, like, something that I I don't share publicly. You can actually buy a certain level of program, but I wanna give it to you guys free. And I reserve it for my high level clients.
Shamina:And so let me explain what it's for. Like, so if you are a high achieving, high performing woman who's already built momentum in your business and you know you're meant for more, you know that there's still some gas in the tank and you should bid at the next level, And maybe you're, you know, running on, you know, a little bit of a capacity. You know, you're hitting a capacity level, and you but you wanna elevate with ease. You wanna do things easier. Like, I'm all about making money and living a life with ease.
Shamina:But if you wanna still still suffer, probably not for you. If you wanna hustle and work really hard, this is not gonna be for you. But if you're really done with doing that and you wanna unlock your next income and your next level and, you know, really be able to apply your strategies, this is what it is. So today, I'm giving you something that's designed to help you shift and bridge that gap, and it's called the instant cash flow method. And so this this high level, you know, guide, it outlines daily activity to help you activate, you know, that wealth identity, work on that identity, move from, you know, what aligned action to take, and really how to really get to that next level of income.
Shamina:And it's designed to help you create instant cash flow. Because you know what? Making money with ease is so much easier than working really hard and hustling for it. So this is all you have to do to do it. Go go find me on Instagram, Shamina Taylor.
Shamina:It's the blue one. Blue checked. And then I want you to send the name well, we could have Davina. Just all you have to do is just send the word Davina. I was gonna say send the whole podcast, but just send Davina, and it's an automatic thing.
Shamina:It's gonna send you. Nobody's gonna sell you anything. I live in abundance, so my whole thing is, like, if I can get more of me, women who were I was in a place of knowing that life does not have to be so hard, like, it does you don't have to live in suffering. You don't have to do it the hard way. It will literally change where we are.
Shamina:Women, we have a wealth transfer, a huge one coming up. And let me tell you, we're gonna be running the world. And I've taken it upon myself to help more women create wealth with ease so we can go do powerful things. You guys are so smart and intelligent. I want you to do things.
Shamina:Where you don't have to work as hard for the money and have more time back. So I am always giving free stuff away all the time because I live in abundance. I don't gatekeep anything. So go do that, and come join us in the Quantum Woman group on Facebook. And I'm just so grateful.
Shamina:Devina, thank you so much for having me on. I I love talking about this. I could talk about all day.
Davina:Thank you, Shamina. I appreciate you being here. I've really enjoyed the conversation. Great.
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